Monday, October 27, 2008

Monday Morning

There is nothing about morning that I like. There is especially nothing about Monday morning that I like...until I read The Star and one of my favourite columnists, Lorraine Sommerfeld. This column always makes me laugh out loud. What a way to start the week! I just love Lorraine's sense of humour and there is always something that resonates with me in her witty writing.

A cat in the hat is one thing, but this puss is pushing it
Lorraine Sommerfeld
Monday, October 27, 2008

Last weekend I was taking an intensive learn-to-ride-a-motorcycle course. Two solid days outside on a bike, my body being pummelled as muscles I didn't know I had were being contorted into shapes I didn't know existed.

I told the household to clear my schedule. There would be no meals, no laundry, no attention from me. I would be rising very early, and coming home late, and I would be crabby. It seems the only thing odd about this was the fact I wouldn't be home.

After the first day, I dragged myself over the threshold and dropped into a hot tub. By 7:30 p.m., I was nodding off and headed to bed. I told the boys to switch to headphones, told The Poor Sod he could watch Ultimate Fighter on mute and not miss a gory moment, and I was not to be disturbed unless the house was on fire. The only way I would get through Day 2 was with a lot of rest.

I passed Ari's bedroom and saw JoJo, our rather dim-witted cat, sleeping on his bed. Maggie, our calico genius, curled up at my feet, and I was out like a light.

At 3:30 a.m. I snapped awake, dreading what I knew was happening. I needed to be asleep. I heard a faint meowing. I glanced down at Maggie, who glanced back at me. We both knew who this was. The mewling was followed by scratching.

Sighing, I figured she was locked in Christopher's room. I got up, Maggie at my heels, and went to open his door. Nothing darted out. I heard the cry again, followed by more scratching. It was coming from Ari's room, but his door was open.

I went back to get my glasses because I can't hear without them.

Maggie was standing in front of Ari's dresser, woefully shaking her head. Trying not to wake Ari, I removed the bottom drawer of his dresser – sometimes at the cottage, the cats hide back there. Nothing.

Again, the crying, and the scratching. Tossing Ari's duvet over his head, I snapped on the light. I removed the other drawer, now remembering a story I read of a cat trapped in a wall.

Did I love this cat enough to tear down the wall?

Suddenly, Ari was standing beside me, now quite wide awake and grinning.

"What are you doing?" he asked, not the slightest bit disturbed to find his mother and a cat staring at his dresser in the middle of the night, which was dismantled yet still meowing.

"JoJo is trapped, and I can't figure out where she is," I told him, thinking I would pull out the dresser.

Without a word, Ari reached over and pulled open another drawer. JoJo's black head popped out like a gopher, she stared at us, then hopped out.

Ari started laughing, as I tried to figure out how long she'd been asleep in there. His drawers slide shut at a touch, and she must have trapped herself.

Disgusted, Maggie trundled back to bed, and I followed her.

Your ability to fall back to sleep is inversely proportional to your desperate need to actually do it. I knew I couldn't think about not sleeping, so I worried about money for a couple of hours, before finally falling asleep 15 minutes before the alarm went off.

Exhausted I showed up for the second day of riding. Another student asked how I was doing.

"Well, I was fine until the cat got stuck in my son's drawers," I told her.

And I thought riding a motorcycle was hard.
Lorraine has a blog and you should at least look at these two of her past entries. They will perk you up on this irredeemably dark, rainy October Monday-Monday.

October 17th. Dennis Quaid & Ellen Degeneres

October 16th. Maddow Band Wagon

Thanks Lorraine for making my week. I LOVE your sense of humour.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for my laugh of the day. This was a hilarious story and since everyone says laughter is good for us I think we should all have a good laugh each day at least once! Thanks for sharing

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